


Always Kiss Me Goodbye

by keelerpeeler



Series: One Shots [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, M/M, Pre FAHC, Pre-Fake AH Crew, angst! all the angst!, i'm sorry about this one yall, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 07:01:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21011675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keelerpeeler/pseuds/keelerpeeler
Summary: Section 2, Subsection C. No matter what, if one of them is leaving - work or to get groceries or even the bathroom - they have to kiss the other goodbye, always.  (It's on the contract now, Rye, you have to.)---alternatively titled: Where the Team Love 'n Stuff Relationship Agreement was made as a joke but now every rule applies to their life and these boys are just worried about each other.





	Always Kiss Me Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was listening to It Will Rain by Bruno Mars when I thought of the idea for this one.... can you tell? also that summary is shitty but this is actually kinda good? and ! there's a part two, but this can be read as a stand alone - I only wrote a companion because even I can't live with the angst - also!! I have an instagram where I'll post edits! it's sydlovesah so check me out ? :)

“_The Team Love n’ Stuff relationship agreement _.” 

Ryan looks up from the paper in his hands, raising an exasperated eyebrow at Gavin’s cheeky smile. Ryan glances around the room, setting the paper down on the counter between them. 

They stand in their shared apartment, a one-bedroom with a small kitchen and something to barely consider a living-room. Faded paint chipped on the walls, the carpet discolored from years of feet walking over it. There’s a stale stench to the air, despite the amount of candles Gavin litters the place in, Ryan having to blow them out every night even though Gavin promises he won’t forget. _ The curtains was an accident! _ Gavin had claimed. Ryan smiles to himself as he thinks about it, gaze going to the best part of the apartment, _ the windows _ . They got lucky - despite living in a cheap neighborhood with drug dealers and serial killers alike, they got an apartment with two giant windows looking out onto the city beyond their neighborhood, the sunset seen in the distance. Ryan and Gavin pull up their ratty beach chairs and put their feet against the glass, sitting close and linking their hands together. It’s uncomfortable - _ the chair never has enough support for Ryan’s back and Gavin wants to share a blanket but he takes all of it and they end up leaning over the armrests to be closer _ \- but it’s _ perfect _.

Ryan returns his eyes to Gavin, who leans on the counter on his elbows, resting his head in his palms. His hair is perfectly gelled, gleaming brighter in the sunlight drifting through the windows. His eyes twinkle as Ryan sighs, shaking his head and lifting the paper again, raising it to Gavin’s face. “What the hell is this?’

“A contract, Ryan!” After a pause, Ryan continuing to look confused, Gavin continues. “It’s to set rules for our relationship!”

“Rules for our relationship,” Ryan repeats, looking back down at the paper, eyebrows furrowing. “You’ve got to be kidding me. _ Section 3, subsection D. Ryan will always answer Gavin’s questions, no matter how weird. _” Ryan turns his attention back to Gavin, resting a hand on his hip as Gavin’s smile widens. “You can’t be serious, Gavin.”

“Of course I’m serious Rye!” Gavin snatches the paper from Ryan’s hands, smiling as his eyes rush through the details. “Look Ryan,” Gavin exclaims, handing the paper back to Ryan and pointing at a section, Ryan rolling his eyes. “C’mon Rye, that ones for you!”

“_S__ection 2, subsection B. Gavin will wear socks to bed during the winter, to keep from rubbing his ‘icicle toes’ against Ryan’s legs. _” Ryan sighs, dragging a hand down his face. “Who helped you do this, Gavin? Someone at work?”

“Nope!” Gavin comes around the counter, wrapping his arms around Ryan’s waist. “All me!” He rests his chin on Ryan’s shoulder, Ryan sighing before looking through the paper again.

“And this is important to you, why?” Ryan side-eyes Gavin, Gavin humming thoughtfully.

“Thought it’d be fun,” He replies, voice high as he gives Ryan a squeeze, Ryan laughing softly. He scans through the sheet, a smirk creeping onto his lips at the list.

“Alright, fine. We can do this.” Ryan sighs as Gavin squeezes harder, giving Ryan a kiss on the cheek.

“This will be so much fun!” Gavin squeals, pulling away from Ryan and running over to their beaten up couch, jumping onto it. Ryan rolls his eyes, looking through the sheet before grabbing a magnet and putting it on their fridge.

“I do have some corrections, though, but let’s just start with _ Section 1, subsection D, _ because that’s just wrong. I will _ never _ lose a tickle fight, and no way I’ll _ ever _let you win.” Ryan creeps over to Gavin, Gavin curling up into the edge of the couch, hands out.

“Ryan, the contract says-” He’s cut off by giggles as Ryan reaches and tickles him, both of them bursting into laughter.

“What contract?”

\----

_ Section 1, subsection B. Since Ryan doesn’t allow for a cat in the apartment, (“it’s against the building’s policy”), Ryan has to drive Gavin to the pet adoption center whenever he pleases. _

“Look at how cute he is!” Gavin squeals, latching onto Ryan’s arm, digging his nails in.

“Jesus Gav!” Ryan lightly shoves Gavin off, Gavin only giving him a cheeky smirk before returning his attention to the pen in front of them.

“Look at the kitty, Rye! Look at him!” Gavin crouches down, making silly faces at the cat. “Oh yes you’re so cute, yes you are!” Gavin tilts his head, the kitten mirroring him. Gavin giggles and looks up at Ryan, smiling brightly, Ryan’s heart melting at the sight. 

Gavin turns back towards the kitten, murmuring softly. “I know, Ryan does suck! I want to bring you home, too!” The kitten starts to claw at the barrier, Gavin squealing and looking up at Ryan again. “Ryan,” Gavin whines, standing up, “how can we not take one of these home?”

“How many times do I have to tell you, Gav.” Ryan rolls his eyes, Gavin leaning into Ryan’s side.

“I know, I know, but still. We could sneak a cat in.” Gavin rests his head against Ryan’s shoulder, Ryan humming in response. They stay staring at the kittens, Gavin humming softly. “Doesn’t this remind you of how we met?”

“Of course it does,” Ryan smiles, thinking back to that night. It was dark, and Gavin was trying to coax a cat out of an alleyway. Ryan was looking at his phone, scrolling through twitter, when he stumbled over Gavin’s crouched body. _ If you’re gonna fall for me, take me to dinner first _ , Gavin had said, giggling to himself. Ryan looks at Gavin, snorting at the memory. “You know, that was _ totally _ your fault.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Gavin quipps, bumping his arm against Ryan’s. “Best night of my life.”

“Oh yeah?” Ryan replies offhandedly, attention going to someone in the store. There’s a group of men standing a few aisles away, covered in tattoos. One of them, a snake tattoo around his neck, stares at Ryan, tilting his head. He bumps his shoulder against one of his buddies, nodding his head in Ryan’s direction.

“-And then there was the cute kitten that actually turned out to be a racoon-”

“Let’s go Gav,” Ryan whispers, linking his hand with Gavin’s, tugging him out of the store.

“Oh c’mon, we weren’t even there that long!” Gavin grumbles but obliges, following Ryan out of the shop. Ryan looks over his shoulder, eyebrows furrowing at the men inside. “We’ll just have to come back tomorrow,” Gavin continues, looking up at Ryan. “Isn’t that right, Rye.”

“Yeah, sure,” Ryan says off-handedly, eyes still behind them. He can’t see the guys anymore, but something sits in his stomach. Ryan looks back at Gavin as he chatters on, words not really reaching Ryan’s ears. Gavin smiles enthusiastically as he talks, gesturing with the hand not intertwined with Ryan’s, Ryan looking back over his shoulder again. _ They’re probably nothing _ , he thinks to himself, shaking his head. _ It doesn’t feel like nothing. _

\----

_ Section 2, subsection C. Only _ ** _once_ ** _ a month, Gavin is allowed to choose a Bond movie for Movie Night. The other Movie Nights, Gavin and Ryan have to agree on a film. (Bond is bloody top, Ryan is just bitter.) _

“Okay Ryan,” Gavin smiles, laying the movies out in front of Ryan on the small, wooden coffee table, Ryan sitting back on the couch. “These are our selection for tonight.” 

Ryan leans forward, eyeing each dvd case carefully. “So you bought _ Gremlins _ , _ The Notebook, _ and _ Sherlock Holmes. _ Really?” He looks back up at Gavin, who shrugs, hesitant smile on his face.

“Well, not exactly,” Gavin starts, forcing a small laugh, Ryan’s eyebrows creasing. “These aren’t my number one choices, either.” 

“What does that mean?” Ryan asks, watching Gavin straighten his back, tight grin on his face. 

“Well Rye, I would’ve chosen something besides _ Gremlins _ or _ The Notebook _ if I-” 

“No, no,” Ryan cuts him off, squeezing the bridge of his nose before looking up at Gavin again. “I’m talking about the ‘_ not exactly _ ’ part of your statement. What do you mean, ‘ _ not exactly?’ _ Did you not _ buy them? _” Ryan watches as the smile on Gavin’s face falters for a second, but never truly fades. 

“Why would I need to buy them when I can just _ borrow _them with no intention of returning them?” Gavin jokes, Ryan sighing, putting his face into his hands. 

“Gavin.” Ryan closes his eyes, breathing deeply out of his nose from behind his hands. “Gavin, did you _ steal _ those dvds?” 

“Steal is a harsh word,” Gavin mutters, Ryan pulling away from his hands and staring up at Gavin, who stands across from him, arms crossed behind his back, smile on his face. 

“You know you stole from an already failing Blockbuster?” Ryan watches Gavin’s smile become a little more genuine, a small one growing on his face to match. “That’s just uncool.” 

“Like you don’t do worse, Rye,” Gavin teases but Ryan’s grin disappears, a sigh escaping his lips as he sits back on the couch, closing his eyes. 

“I’m a bad influence, aren’t I.” 

“No, no no _ Ryan, _ ” Gavin moves to sit next to him on the couch, Ryan feeling the small dip from Gavin’s weight, Gavin laying a hand on Ryan’s in his lap. “Rye, c’mon, let’s choose a movie. I’m sure that Blockbuster _ really _ misses these, so let’s make it worth our time.” Ryan opens his eyes to Gavin’s face in his, soft smile at his lips, Gavin leaning forward and placing a kiss to Ryan’s nose. “What do you think of _ Sherlock Holmes _?”

“You’re the worst. You couldn’t have grabbed better movies?”

“We could watch _ Goldfinger _again?” 

“_ Sherlock Holmes _ it is.” 

\----

_ Section 3, subsection A. Both Ryan and Gavin have a curfew of midnight to be at the apartment. Anytime past then, without permission of the other, will cost him. (Punishment to be determined at the time of the incident. Can’t predict the mood.) ;) _

Ryan lightly pushes the door open, holding the nob as he gently closes the door behind him, catching his breath against it. He sighs, closing his eyes. _ Made it home. _

“It’s 4am, Rye.” 

The lights flash on, Ryan wincing at the bright lighting, eyes moving downcast at the look from Gavin, a mix of concern and anger. Even though Gavin has many faces that mean trouble for Ryan, this one is a different kind. It means it’s _ his fault. _

“Gavin I-”

“Don’t, Ryan. Don’t.” Gavin crosses his arms, wearing Ryan’s black robe, engulfing Gavin’s skinny frame. They’re silent for a few minutes, Gavin just staring Ryan down, Ryan looking anywhere but him. _ He looks cute in my robe, _Ryan notes, finally meeting Gavin’s eyes.

“You look cute in my robe, Gav,” Ryan repeats out-loud, Gavin’s scowl deepening. _ Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say. _

“It’s bloody 4am, Ryan, do you know how worried sick I was? How I’ve been for the last 5 hours?” Gavin taps his foot, Ryan seeing the struggle on his face, Gavin trying to maintain an angry composure when all he wants to do is reach out. _ To hold Ryan. _ The relief is clear in Gavin’s eyes, a brick of guilt dropping into Ryan’s gut. _ Gavin doesn’t deserve this. _

“I know, Gavin. I’m sorry.” Ryan looks at his shoes, Gavin walking over to him, tilting his chin up. Gavin’s still squinting at him, Ryan giving him a sheepish smile.

“Was it ‘work’?” Gavin uses his fingers to indicate the quotations, Ryan wincing at his tone. “This ‘work’ you never really explain, but you always come home bleeding or in the middle of the night?”

“How’d you know that I’d be walking through the door?” Ryan asks quietly, Gavin scoffing, gesturing a hand to the living-room.

“We have two giant windows, Rye, if you don’t remember.”

“Oh, right.” Ryan scratches his neck, the leather of his gloves littered in small holes, Ryan putting his hands in front of him to look at them. _ And they were his favorite pair. _

“I wish it wasn’t like this, Ryan. I’m tired of worrying about you! I’m tired of sitting here and thinking that you’re never coming home! All the secrets, the phone you always answer but I never call, the smegging armory in the closet!” Gavin’s voice shakes as he flails his arms around. He straightens out, wrapping his arms around himself, face falling from it’s angry demeanor. “I don’t want there to be a last time I see you, Ryan.”

“I don’t want there to be either, Gav.” Ryan looks back at his gloves, peeling them away from his hands, scraped and bloody from a bad fall on his motorcycle. “But it’s not that simple. If I could leave, I would,” he continues, flexing his fingers. “If I could leave it all behind, just you and me, I would. But I can’t Gav.” Ryan looks up at Gavin, seeing his lip quivering. “I can’t because I’m stuck in this. If I could, we’d take the clothes on our backs and ditch this hell-hole, but _I can’t._” Ryan sighs raggedly, Gavin’s face changing into one of concern. _And understanding._ Gavin steps close to him, pausing before pulling Ryan into his arms, resting Ryan’s head on his shoulder.

“I know, love,” Gavin whispers, Ryan closing his eyes as Gavin cards his fingers through Ryan’s hair, calming him. “I know. But you’ve got me, okay? You’ve got me.”

_ Should he? _

\----

_ Section 4, subsection B. Both Gavin and Ryan will keep each other in the loop about their location. (This city is dangerous, especially this part of town. That’s what Ryan says, at least.) _

Ryan paces the living-room, the small distance making him change direction every 4 feet. The floorboards beneath the carpet squeak softly below him, the only sound in the still apartment. Well, besides Ryan’s heavy breathing. His eyes are shut, grip tight on the cell phone in his hand, willing it to ring the tighter he squeezes it. _ Call soon _ , he thinks, biting at his bottom lip. He opens his eyes, walking over to the counter and setting the phone down, grabbing at his hair. It’s down to his shoulders now, just long enough that Gavin keeps calling him a surfer. _ Too bad we live in the Midwest, _ Gavin had said, brushing his fingers through Ryan’s blonde locks, Ryan closing his eyes at the feeling. _ In another world, maybe. _Ryan lets go of his hair, wrapping his arms around himself.

_ Gavin. _

_ Where is he? _ Ryan looks at the clock on the stove, the time reading 7:30. _ He got off work two hours ago. _ Ryan shakes his head, arms wrapping tighter. _ Do they know? Do they have him? Are they gonna use him as leverage? _ Ryan shakes his head again, tears threatening to pour from his eyes. _ He should never have met Gavin. He brought him into this. Beautiful, perfect Gavin, in a world of monsters and killers. _ Ryan sighs, closing his eyes, a few tears streaming down his face. _ A world Ryan is involved in. _ Ryan sees the curious looks Gavin gives him when he comes home from “work”, he sees the worry in Gavin’s eyes as Ryan stitches himself up, he hears the unsaid questions wanting to burst their way out of Gavin’s mouth. _ Maybe you should… _ Ryan cuts of his own train of thoughts. _ Don’t think like that. _

His phone buzzes, Ryan snatching it off the table, sighing heavily at the notification. _ Low Battery _ . Ryan looks up at the clock on the stove again, nodding to himself and rushing into his room. _ He’s just gonna have to go get Gavin himself. _

Ryan is grabbing his leather jacket from his closet when the door to the apartment slams open,

a voice following it.

“I’m sorry I’m home so late love, the shop was so bus-” Gavin is cut off as Ryan slams into him, holding him in a tight embrace, head in the crook of Gavin’s neck. Gavin drops the bags he was holding, returning the hug. “You alright, Rye?” Ryan pulls back, hands on Gavins’ shoulders as he looks him over, moving his hands to gentle caress Gavin’s face. He pulls him to his chest, Gavin making an _ oof _ sound as he does.

“Section 4, subsection B, Gavin.”

“What?” Gavin pulls away again looking Ryan in the eyes, seeing the tears on his face. “Oh Ryan-”

“Section 4, subsection B. We keep each other in the loop.”

“Oh!” Gavin perks up, giving Ryan the ‘one-minute’ finger while crouching to the ground, reaching into the spilled grocery bags. He pulls out his phone, showing the screen to Ryan. “It died while I was waiting in line. I was playing too much Flappy Bird I guess.” Gavin laughs, Ryan’s face unchanged. Gavin’s smile falls, reaching out and cupping Ryan’s face, Ryan closing his eyes. “I’m really okay, Ryan.”

“Okay.” Ryan takes a deep breath, Gavin wiping a tear away.

“C’mon,” Gavin murmurs, moving his hand away from Ryan’s face and intertwining it with Ryan’s, tugging him towards the bedroom. “Let’s get some rest.”

“The groceries..” Ryan trails off, looking over his shoulder at the pile on the floor. Gavin waves his spare hand, chuckling lightly, pulling Ryan towards the bedroom.

“It’s just snack foods, they’ll be fine.” Gavin tugs Ryan’s arm again and he obliges, trailing after Gavin into the bedroom, the worry a weight on his shoulders. _ He’s not going to sleep well tonight. _

But as they climbed into bed, after Gavin practically taking Ryan’s clothes and armor off for him, Ryan being too exhausted to do it himself, Gavin not asking any questions about _ why _ Ryan was so geared up, they snuggled together under the blankets. Gavin slipped on some fuzzy socks, his legs wrapped around Ryan’s waist, body curled into Ryan’s side, head resting on his chest, and Ryan smiles, despite himself. But the stress of the matter didn’t go away, Ryan taking glances at Gavin’s sleeping face, mouth slightly open, blonde eyelashes long and resting against his cheekbones, bent nose looking straight from the angle. _ Gavin, who’s innocent and kind, who laughs at Ryan’s jokes, who washes his blood-stained clothes in the sink without saying a word about it. Who knows what Ryan’s involved in- stuck in, and stays. And _ loves _ him _

_ despite it. _Ryan closes his eyes, knowing no matter how dark it is, he’s not falling asleep anytime soon. He’s got a lot to think about.

\----

_Section 4, subsection C. Since Ryan likes mysteries, when he says ‘no questions asked’, that means _**_no questions asked_**_._ _No matter what. (This goes for Gavin too, but he’s not a minge like Ryan.)_

Ryan trudges up the stairs, dragging his limp leg behind him as he moves, stopping to lean against the wall. He pulls away, seeing the blood left behind, looking down at where his right hand grips his side, wincing at the blood between his fingers. "Jesus," he grimaces, taking a shaky breath before pulling himself up the last few steps, stopping again at the top. He closes his eyes, gritting his teeth. His knee screams as he continues down the hall, practically falling to lean against the door of his and Gavin's apartment. His breathing gets more ragged as he fumbles with his keys, finally getting the right one in the lock before stumbling into the apartment, wincing at the pain shooting up his leg. 

“Ryan?” Gavin jumps up from the couch, eyes going wide in horror at Ryan, bloody and barely able to walk, leaning against the counter in the kitchen. “Christ Rye! What the bloody hell-” 

“Get the first aid kit,” Ryan cuts him off, Gavin looking him over before meeting his eyes, “no questions asked.” 

“Ryan-” Gavin starts again, but Ryan shakes his head, gritting his teeth as he does. 

“_ No questions asked _,” he says, more sternly that time, and something flashes across Gavin’s face before he jumps into action, rushing into the bathroom. Ryan takes a shaky breath and slowly makes his way to the couch, gently settling onto it, wincing as he jostles the wound in his side. 

Gavin rushes back into the room, immediately getting to work of getting Ryan’s shirt off and wiping the gash, making little noises of sympathy as Ryan’s breath hitches. Gavin then stitches it up, one hand gently resting on Ryan’s stomach to hold him still, warm against Ryan’s cool skin, and Ryan relaxes as Gavin finishes up the stitching, pointing to Ryan’s knee. 

“I think it’s just bruised,” Ryan manages, and Gavin rolls his eyes, helping Ryan to his feet, leading him into the bathroom. 

“_ I think _ I should still look at it,” he replies, sitting Ryan on the toilet, grabbing a rag from the cabinet and wetting it in the sink. “In a minute, though.” Gavin looks over at Ryan expectantly, and Ryan nods, seemingly satisfying Gavin as he smiles softly, wiping the dirt and grime off Ryan’s face with the warm towel. There’s a few moments of silence, Ryan just watching the focused look in Gavin’s eyes as he cleans Ryan’s skin, being _ oh-so _ _ gentle _ , but Ryan can see the anger in Gavin’s eyes. It’s small, _ but it’s there. _

“You know, this isn’t what I wanted when I created that rule,” Gavin says after a while, giving a small laugh, no hint of humor in it. Ryan watches him as he sighs, standing up from where he was crouched in front of Ryan to move to the sink, ringing out the bloody water from the towel. “I thought maybe you’d be planning a secret date or something, and then I’d pester you about it and you’d say _ no questions asked _ . And it would be cute, and romantic, and I’d love whatever surprise you had planned.” Gavin turns on the water in the sink, letting the dirty water from the rag completely drain before turning it off again, Ryan watching as Gavin glances down, shaking his head. He looks back up again, meeting Ryan’s eyes, and Ryan sees how _ tired _ Gavin’s are _ . _ “I didn’t bloody well expect you’d use it for something like _ this. _” 

“You didn’t?” Is all Ryan can reply with, because honestly, _ of course this is the situation he’d use this rule. _ And Gavin sighs because he knows it, but there’s something _ hurt _ in the way he closes his eyes, resting his hip against the sink- something slightly _ annoyed, _too. “I don’t know what you wanted, Gav,” Ryan mutters, but Gavin hears him, and turns away, shoulders sagging. 

“I don’t know either.” Gavin spins back around to face Ryan again, worry painted so clearly on his face he looks like a piece of art- which feels like a punch in Ryan’s gut because _ he’s hurting Gavin- _ and Gavin steps forward, caressing Ryan’s cheek, Ryan’s eyes fluttering closed at the contact. “I know I want you safe, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Gavin continues, Ryan opening his eyes again to be looking directly in Gavin’s green ones. “You make that _ real hard _ for me, _ for yourself _, coming home beaten and bloody.” 

“Gav I…” Ryan swallows, unsure of what he was going to say. _ Gavin’s not wrong, _ but he can’t really fix it, at least, _ not now. _ But more and more lately, it seems to be a _ reoccuring theme _in their relationship. 

“Let’s get you in the shower, okay?” Gavin smiles, pained but clearly making an effort and despite Ryan’s lack of energy to do anything, he nods, and Gavin’s smile get a little more genuine. Gavin helps Ryan get to his feet, holding his hands in his own, and leans forward, pressing a kiss to Ryan’s lips. “We can talk more later, but right now, let’s just get you clean and then get to bed,” Gavin whispers, and Ryan nods, but something sticks in the back of his head. _ Where else can this conversation go? _ Gavin turns away to start the shower, Ryan watching him, dread sending a coldness throughout his body. _ What else can be said? _ But then Gavin faces him again, nodding that the water is ready, and helps Ryan get undressed, and Ryan let’s himself have this moment with Gavin- not a happy moment, but a moment nonetheless. 

\----

_ Section 3, Subsection B. Ryan has to let Gavin pay for Date Night once in a while. (Stop being so damn lovely, Ryan!) _

“This place is really nice,” Gavin points out, looking around the candle-lit restaurant they sit in, hand holding Ryan’s across the table. 

“I wish I could take you here more often,” Ryan muses, rubbing his thumb across Gavin’s knuckles. “If only I could afford it,” he continues, sighing. 

“You know I love a good night in, Rye,” Gavin urges, looking at Ryan sweetly. “Besides, who could handle caviar_ all the time? _” 

“Rich people, I suppose.” Ryan spares a glance around them, noting the pressed suits and glittering jewelry. 

“Then I never want to be rich,” Gavin says proudly, Ryan bursting out laughing at that. The patrons around them turn to stare, Gavin’s face showing faux-offense. “What’s so funny Rye?” 

“You with your obsession to gold saying you don't want to be _ rich _ ,” Ryan laughs, shaking his head fondly. “I should really call you the _ Golden Boy _instead of Gavin.” 

“Hey!” Gavin kicks Ryan’s shin under the table, brows furrowed. “I don’t like gold _ that much _, you knob. I just think it’s a great color! Plus the element is-” 

“-_ Golden Boy _ ,” Ryan sings, Gavin’s face burning bright red. “ _ Oh, Golden Boy-” _

“Oh shut it,” Gavin giggles, giving Ryan’s hand a squeeze. “At least I’m not _ Lonely Boy _.” 

Ryan’s eyebrows shoot up, a smile stretched across his face. “So I’m _ Lonely Boy _ now?” 

“You’re always on your own, lone-wolfing it,” Gavin explains, taking a sip of his drink, grabbing the glass with his free hand. “You know how you are.”

And for a moment, everything is perfect. Gavin’s wide smile and bright eyes staring at Ryan, the beautiful candle-lit dinner, the soft laughter a background around them. It was _ perfect. _

And just as soon as it came, the moment was gone, _ broken _, as the glass in Gavin’s hand shatters, tiny pieces flying across the table. Ryan watches in frozen horror as his and Gavin’s eyes connect, a passing understanding, and in an instant, Ryan tackles Gavin to the ground just as bullets come thundering into the room, lighting up the restaurant. 

The place erupts into chaos, patrons screaming, holes being put into walls and windows, tables being flipped in protection. Ryan rolls off Gavin, Gavin’s face frozen with fear, and gets to his knees, eyes looking around for an exit. He spots the door to the kitchen, swinging wildly as people rush in, Ryan’s gaze following the safest path to there. 

He glances back at Gavin, who’s still face-up on the floor, frozen and staring at the ceiling. Ryan reaches over and takes his hand, intertwining their fingers again, giving Gavin’s hand a squeeze. Gavin turns his head to face him, Ryan mouthing _ kitchen _, Gavin nodding. 

He follows Ryan’s lead and gets onto his knees, both of them crawling behind flipped tables and half-walls, making their way to the kitchen door, still swinging wildly. Ryan stands slowly, protected from the onslaught of bullets by the small dividing wall, Gavin inching up to be right next to him. 

Ryan spares a glance at him, mouthing _ on three. _ Gavin nods, swallowing harshly, and Ryan sticks up his pointer-finger. Another round of bullets hits the wall behind them, and Ryan puts a second finger up, Gavin’s eyes widening. 

The bullets stop, and Ryan lifts up the third finger, he and Gavin rushing through the door, jumping in between counters and ovens as the door is littered with bullets again. 

“Holy shit Rye,” Gavin gasps, rolling onto his knees, looking up at Ryan where he now stands, catching his breath. “This is what you deal with everyday?” 

_ What I want to keep you away from _, Ryan thinks, looking around the room. He spots the exit door, and grabs Gavin’s arm, hauling him to his feet without a word. They creep towards the door, Ryan’s hand making it’s way to the gun hidden in his suit, eyes squeezing shut as his fingers clasp the metal. 

Ryan pushes open the door, gun in front of him as he sticks his head out, not spotting a single person in the alley. He steps further out, beckoning for Gavin to follow him. Gavin walks a little down the way of the alley, wiping dust and debri off his suit. 

“Did you know those guys Rye?” Gavin asks, voice quiet, and Ryan is about to turn to answer when a gun cocks at the end of the alley. 

“Thought you could get away, Haywood?” 

The guy has his pistol pointed at Ryan, assault rifle strung across his chest. _ Must’ve run out of ammo _, Ryan muses, raising his gun. The guy tilts his head before smiling, moving his aim to Gavin, Ryan’s eyes going wide as he leaps, tackling Gavin to the ground, bullet flying overhead. 

He jumps to his feet again and nails the guy between the eyes, his body falling to a thud on the dirty street below him. 

“Not really,” Ryan replies, breathing heavy. He looks to the ground to his right, Gavin still sprawled out on the ground. 

“Teach me how to shoot,” Gavin says after a moment, making no move to get off the ground. Ryan takes a step back, face forming a frown. 

“Gavin-”  


“Ryan,” Gavin finally gets to his feet, placing his hands on Ryan’s chest. “What if I’m alone? What if you’re not there to tackle me out of the way?” 

Ryan closes his eyes, willing the image of Gavin’s dead body in an alley out of his head. 

“Ryan,” Gavin says, softer this time, moving his hands to Ryan’s face. “Teach me to shoot.” 

Ryan opens his eyes and stares into Gavin’s, determination flickering in the green of is irises. 

“Okay,” Ryan breathes, slowly nodding his head, Gavin removing his hands from his face. “Okay, I’ll teach you how to shoot.” Ryan looks around them, at the skinny alley, two bulky trash cans sitting against the restaurant, sky darkening overhead. “But let’s get out of here first, shall we?” 

“Ryan,” Gavin smiles, looping his arm through Ryan’s, light tremor to his hands. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

_ \---- _

_ Section 1, Subsection A. We’re a team, Team Love ‘n Stuff. Any problem we face, we face it _ ** _together._ **

“So, what do you think lover-boy will think when you don’t come home tonight?” 

Ryan’s eyes are on the wet spots on the ceiling, turning the white panels brown and weak. He sighs and looks back at the man standing in front of him, knife glinting in the small sunlight seeping through the high windows, smug grin on his face. 

“Probably that I’ve died,” Ryan muses, the man’s smile falling. He storms over to Ryan, harshly grabbing his face, his breath directly filling Ryan’s nose. 

“Who _ the fuck _ do you think you are, Haywood?” He barks, yellow teeth gritted, Ryan just shrugging. 

“You tell me.” Ryan can’t help but laugh as the man’s eye twitches. He lets go of Ryan’s face, stepping back for a moment before slapping Ryan, Ryan wobbling in his chair from the force. 

“Listen here,” the man grabs his face again, Ryan wincing at the grip, “just fucking _ wait _ until he gets his hands on you. You won’t be able to say stupid shit anymore, Haywood.” The man pauses for a moment, staring directly into Ryan’s eyes, a smile creeping onto his face. “Oh, just fucking _ wait.” _

He stands, Ryan watching as he seems to tower over him, moving to the other side of the room again. Ryan’s face still stings as they stare at each other, the man leaning against the wall by the door, knife spinning in his hand. The only sound in the room water dripping from a pipe on the wall and Ryan’s labored breathing, the man standing silently. 

Ryan’s eyes widen as there’s a gunshot heard from above him, and the man twitches, but doesn’t move from the wall. Then there’s a few more, and the man stalks over to Ryan, knife mere inches from Ryan’s chest, a sneer on the man’s face. 

“Don’t fucking _ move _ ,” he growls before he storms out the door, slamming it behind him, and Ryan can’t help but snort, tugging at the ropes around his wrist. _ As if he could move if he wanted. _

He continues to struggle anyway as the gunshots appear to get closer, blood trickling down his wrist as he wriggles in the ropes, skin burning. _ Fuck _ , Ryan takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. _ He’ll never get out of here. _

“Ryan?” 

Ryan’s head shoots up as he meets Gavin’s eyes in the doorway, a golden pistol held in his hands, face showing relief as he rushes over to Ryan. 

“_ OhmygodRyanyou’reokayIwassoworried-” _ Gavin rambles on, stopping to take a breath as he crouches in front of Ryan, pressing his forehead against Ryan’s. Confusion washes over Ryan but he pushes it aside, meeting Gavin in the middle, closing his eyes. 

“I never thought I’d see you again,” he can’t help but mumble, Gavin giving him a small laugh. 

“Can’t get rid of me that easily,” Gavin leans back, wide smile taking over his whole face. “Let’s get you out of those ropes, yeah?” He stands, going behind the chair, Ryan taking the moment to think, eyebrows furrowing. _ How the fuck? _ Is the first question that pops into Ryan’s head, something burning low in his gut. _ Arousal? Anger? _

He doesn’t have time to think on it as his hands fall to his sides, Ryan immediately rubbing at his raw wrists. Gavin gets in front of him again, wincing as he looks Ryan over. 

“Are you alright to stand?” He asks, and Ryan nods, biting his tongue. _ How the fuck did you get in here? Where’d you learn to shoot? How’d you find me? _

But Gavin smiles, soft and sweet and _ relieved _, and Ryan sighs, forcing himself to his feet. He groans as he does, Gavin reaching out to help him, Ryan waving him off. 

“I’m alright,” he grinds out, gritting his teeth. “But we are _ talking _ when we get home, okay?” 

“Okay,” Gavin whispers, something fearful in his voice, and Ryan reaches forward, pulling him into a hug, Gavin gladly wrapping his arms around Ryan. Ryan closes his eyes, letting himself have this moment. 

The ride home is silent, Ryan’s grip on the wheel of Gavin’s beat up Blista tight, knuckles white. Gavin stares out the window the whole time, hopping out of the car the second Ryan puts the car in park. Ryan follows after him, the two of them making their way up the stairs, Ryan wincing as it pulls on his side, a bruise he probably got somewhere in the struggle. 

They’re soundless as they step into their apartment, Gavin wasting no time and retrieving the first-aid kit from the bathroom, Ryan opening up their freezer and pulling out an ice pack, pressing it to his face. Something hot burns in his gut again, Ryan immediately recognizing it as _ anger _, and he grips the sink with his free hand, a little dribble of blood coming from the cut on his wrist. He hears Gavin’s footsteps as he enters their small kitchen, setting the first-aid on the counter, flicking it open. 

“Should we disinfect first-” 

“What the _ fuck _ , Gavin,” Ryan fumes, voice low, knuckles turning white, back still turned to Gavin. “What the _ fuck. _” 

“I’m guessing we _ don’t _disinfect first?” 

Ryan hears the lift in his tone and he spins around, fiery eyes immediately causing Gavin’s demeanor to drop. 

“What,” Ryan steps forward, stopping as Gavin takes a step back, taking a deep breath. “What, the _ fuck _, was that?” He starts over, fury still laced in his tone.

“You were kidnapped,” Gavin says slowly, as if Ryan’s an _ idiot _, “and I saved you.” 

“You _ know _ that’s not what I mean,” Ryan snaps, Gavin rolling his eyes. “Oh, is this _ funny _ to you Gavin? Where’d you learn to shoot like that?! How did you find me? Why did you _ think _ it was okay for you _ to _ find me?!” 

“Don’t be ungrateful Ryan,” Gavin steps forward, glaring at Ryan. “You could’ve died.” 

“You could’ve too!” Ryan erupts, Gavin standing his ground. Ryan pauses, taking another deep breath, closing his eyes and turning around again, free hand returning to the edge of the sink. “What were you _ thinking, _ walking in there with no experience. Oh right! You _ weren’t _, clearly.” 

“Obviously I’m good enough to take down a few guys, the same ones that grabbed _ you _ off a street alley.” 

“You got lucky,” Ryan mutters, shaking his head, fire rushing through his veins. “I’m guessing you tracked me with security cams, correct?” With the lack of an answer, Ryan scoffs. “Of fucking course. And I taught you how to shoot a gun _ one time _and suddenly you think you can walk into a random warehouse and-” 

“I’ve been getting lessons, alright!” Gavin exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air. “You happy? I’ve been preparing, Christ!” 

There’s a poignant pause, Gavin sighing loudly, Ryan’s hand on the sink loosening its grip. 

“Maybe now I’m useful for something,” Gavin mutters, crossing his arms. Ryan turns to look at him, feeling like he was just _ slapped, _ anger leaving his body with the flip of a switch, trading out for something else. _ Guilt _. 

“Gavin, I’ve never said that-” 

“You don’t have to!” Gavin yells, Ryan’s eyes widening as Gavin stalks over to him, _ anger _ on his face more intense than Ryan’s ever seen it before. _ Gavin doesn’t get angry. _ “You act like I’m this ‘damsel in distress’, that it’s your _ job _ to protect me! I can protect myself, Rye.” Gavin clenches his fists before turning away, his back to Ryan. 

“I know you can protect yourself, Gav,” Ryan says, suddenly hesitant, voice nervous. _ He’s never seen Gavin this upset, especially not at _ him _ . _Gavin spins back around to face him, hands on his hips, ghost of a smile on his lips. 

“Oh, do you know that?” He asks, but it’s not a question, and Ryan holds his breath. Gavin scoffs, shaking his head. “You act like you always need to save me, but guess who’s being saved Ryan! Guess who was just rescued! _ You _ !” Gavin starts laughing, Ryan feeling _ guilt _ seep into his bones at Gavin’s humorless laughter. “But no, _ I’m _ the one that’s babied, that’s made so _ weak _ and that’s too _ innocent _ for all of this! _ Me!” _ He stops laughing, covering his face with his hands, and Ryan wants to reach out, to _ pull him into his arms _ , but he stands there, holding the ice pack to his cheek, _ silent _. 

“And you…” Gavin continues, sighing heavily before removing his hands from his face, letting his arms hang by his sides. “You.._ you _ got mad at _ me _ for coming after you, Ryan. Where does _ that make sense? _” 

“I…” Ryan starts, thoughts trailing off. He can’t help but worry - the thought of losing Gavin sends a chill through his bones that no heater can thaw, a pain through his heart that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t get rid of. And in those moments, he pulls Gavin close, reminding himself that Gavin is here, that Gavin is _ alive, _ and that’s not going to change, _ he won’t let it. _

“I don’t want you in danger,” Ryan forces out, closing his eyes. “I know you can handle yourself, and I know you’re capable, but _ goddamnit Gavin _ I can’t let you get hurt because of _ me _, okay?” Ryan opens eyes to be staring directly into Gavin’s, Gavin having moved closer to Ryan while he was talking, taking his free hand without Ryan even noticing. 

“Ryan,” Gavin chokes, tears brimming his eyes, and the _ pain _ that rushes through Ryan is worse than any bullet wound. “I love you _ so much _ , but it always feels like you don’t _ trust me. _” 

“Gavin,” Ryan pulls him close, tucking Gavin’s head under his chin, tears filling his own eyes. “I trust you with my _ life. _ I just don’t want to ever risk yours for me. I couldn’t…I couldn’t live with myself.” Ryan openly chokes back a sob, and feels Gavin’s grip on him get tighter. 

“I was so worried,” Gavin says into Ryan’s shirt, the fabric wet with tears. “I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.” 

Ryan pulls away, holding Gavin’s face in his hands, wiping tears away with his thumbs. 

“Gavin, I am _ yours _ , forever. You will _ always _ have me, okay?” Ryan watches as Gavin nods, and Ryan smiles, pulling him into a kiss. 

“I’m yours forever,” Gavin mumbles when they finally break apart, staring intensely into Ryan’s eyes. “_ Forever. _”

_ \---- _

_ Section 2, Subsection C. No matter what, if one of them is leaving - work or to get groceries or even the bathroom - they _ ** _have_ ** _ to kiss the other goodbye, _ ** _always._ ** _ (It's on the contract now, Rye, you have to.) _

“We can’t keep having this conversation,” Ryan mutters, crossing his arms over his chest, partially folding into himself. 

“Do you think I want this, Ryan?” Gavin asks, voice tired. 

“Do you think _ I do _?” Ryan stares at Gavin for a moment, neither of them saying anything before Ryan sighs, leaning against the counter behind him. “You know I’m stuck in this, Gavin.” 

“I know,” Gavin says softly, approaching Ryan, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “But maybe, maybe we could-” 

“We could _ what _ Gavin?” Ryan booms, ripping his arm out of Gavin’s grasp and walking away from the counter, over to the door. “‘ _ Oh, let’s run away together! It’ll solve all of our problems!’ _” 

“It’s better than just sitting here, Rye,” Gavin grumbles, shaking his head. “You’ve been dealing with this for too long.” 

“Well, I’d have it handled if you weren’t here,” Ryan says, eyes widening at the truth in his words. Gavin leans forward, eyebrows raising. 

“What?” 

Ryan sighs, looking away from Gavin and at the floor. “I’d take a lot more risks if I didn’t worry about you, Gav. Worry about coming home to you safely, worried about your involvement. That’s what stops me from...doing some things.” _ Worried what you’d think of me _. 

“We’re a _ team _, Ryan. If I have to get involved-” 

“No-” 

“But if it helps-” Gavin walks towards Ryan again, hand outstretched, Ryan shaking his head. 

“No, Gavin. No.” Ryan looks at Gavin, seeing the hurt in his eyes. He sighs, taking Gavin’s hand in his own and rubbing his thumb across Gavin’s knuckles. “I know you’re capable, Gavin, but it’s not like that.” 

“It’s because you don’t want me stuck, too,” Gavin sighs, closing his eyes. They’re both silent for a moment, Ryan watching Gavin’s face as he breathes softly, eyes shut. 

“What if I want to be, Ryan?” Gavin’s eyes open, a wave of confusion washing over Ryan.

“What?” 

“What if I want to be involved in all this shite, Ryan?” Gavin steps forward, freeing his hand from Ryan’s and placing both of them on Ryan’s shoulders, moving up to Ryan’s face. “Ryan, I love you. We’re a _ team _. If that means joining you in your gang life or whatever then I’m down.” 

“Gavin, I-” 

“Why are you so against it?” Gavin takes a step back, Ryan fighting the urge to follow after his touch. “Why won’t you let me help you?” 

_ Because the thought of you hurt kills me, _ Ryan bites his lip, shaking his head. “It’s just not an option, Gavin.” 

“Ryan-” 

“Gavin.” Ryan crosses his arms, watching Gavin from the corner of his eyes as his gaze is directed at the windows. _ Their windows. _ “You know I love you,” he starts, watching the trees sway in the wind outside, something rising in his chest. “But…” 

“But what, Ryan,” Gavin urges, a harshness in his tone that makes Ryan stop for a second, makes him take a breath. 

“But, maybe this isn’t for the best.” The room is silent, Gavin straightening his posture in Ryan’s peripheral. 

This is something that’s been plaguing Ryan’s thoughts for a long time, but he didn’t want it to come to this. _ This isn’t how he wanted their story to end, but...Gavin never needed this. _ Ryan finally looks back over to Gavin, seeing the bewilderment on his face.

“Wh..what?” Gavin speaks after a minute, baffled. Ryan stalks into the bedroom, grabbing the duffle bag he hid underneath the bed, (_ just in case) _, Gavin hurrying to follow him, standing in the doorway. “Ryan, what are you doing?” 

Ryan sighs, placing the bag on the bed before spinning around to get into the closet, Gavin stepping in his way. Ryan reaches around him, grabbing his Kevlar vest and his lucky knife, sliding them into the bag before zipping it up. 

“Ryan,” Gavin follows Ryan as he heads into the kitchen, grabbing the cookie jar they have sitting on the counter, the faded yellow chipping at the edges. Ryan reaches in and pulls out a wad of cash, Gavin’s eyes widening. “No wonder you never let me have any cookies from the jar,” he whispers, a laugh to his tone that makes Ryan smile, despite himself. 

“Gavin,” Ryan turns around, serious again, sliding the money into a pocket of the bag before glancing back up, worry taking over Gavin’s face. “I love you, okay? Don’t forget that.” 

“Ryan, what are you on about?” Gavin looks at Ryan, Ryan having to turn away, eyes on the floor. 

“I’m leaving, Gavin.” Ryan slides on the bag, full of clothes packed months in advance. _ This came too soon. _

“What are you talking about?” Gavin starts, stepping towards Ryan, Ryan putting a hand out to stop him. 

“I have to leave, Gavin.” _ Without you. _ Ryan pauses, taking a shaky breath, watching realization dawn on Gavin’s face. “It’s not safe for me to be here anymore,” _ I’m worried about you. Too many close calls. _“You should leave, too.” 

“Ryan-” Gavin steps forward again, Ryan taking a step back. 

“They’re going to follow me, they’ll chase me.” They stare at each other, Ryan’s eyes burning, his chest constricting at the look on Gavin’s face- _ disbelief. Hurt. _ “Get out,” Ryan continues as he places a hand on the doorknob, “and get somewhere safe. There’s money in the bottom drawer of our dresser, in an old can.” _ Forget me _, Ryan doesn’t say.

They’re both silent, Gavin’s mouth opening and closing over and over again, tears beginning to fill his eyes. Ryan watches him, watches his inner battle, _ how he couldn’t convince Ryan to stay if he tried. Ryan’s always been too stubborn. _

“But Rye,” Gavin’s voice trembles, lip quivering as he reaches out to Ryan. Ryan swallows, his grip tightening on the doorknob. “The contract,” Gavin continues, barely above a whisper, “_ always kiss me goodbye _ .” _ Don’t forget me, _ Gavin doesn’t say.

Ryan continues to stare at Gavin’s outstretched hand, Gavin’s wrist shaking as he wipes tears with his other hand off his cheeks, green eyes watching Ryan’s blue ones. Ryan looks away, moving his attention to the doorknob, sighing sadly. He wants to reach out, to hold Gavin, to kiss him and wipe off those tears and tell him they’ll fix everything, that they’ll get through this together, but _ he can’t. This is the only way to protect Gavin. _

“Not this time, Gav,” Ryan forces out, a look of hurt crumpling Gavin’s face but Ryan can’t take it-- and before long, Ryan is staring at the door, closed and locked between them. 

Ryan lets go of the knob as if it burned him, quickly sliding his hand into his pocket, swallowing harshly again. He closes his eyes, feeling the tears flow down his cheeks but he doesn’t dare move to wipe them, and instead, turns on his heel, walking away from the apartment. 

He could’ve sworn he heard _ Ryan _ through the door, but it doesn't matter, anyway. _ He’s gone now. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to leave kudos/comments, they're always appreciated! I hope you enjoyed! :) - syd


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